It's the end of April, and therefore the end of blogging every day...well...almost every day because I missed yesterday, but you know what? I'm not as bothered as I thought I'd be. If I let missing one day affect my achievement for the whole month then that would just be ridiculous. I've done 29 blog posts in the whole of the month, and coming from someone who would sporadically post whenever I felt like it, that's a big deal. 

Coming up with new content every day is hard I tell you - I applaud all those fantastic bloggers that do it on the regular because it's something that I really couldn't do for a long period of time (a month was enough for me). However, on the flip side, when you do think of new ideas, it can often lead to more new ideas - it's like a cycle of ideas, that once you start you could potentially keep going for a long time. I know that sounds contradictory to what I initially said but let me explain. I've discovered over this past month that I'm very much a mood writer; I will only write what feels good to me at the time despite having a plethora of ideas listed down somewhere. I could have a million and one ideas and not want to write any of them at any given time, so that's where the content creation part became difficult.

I'll tell you something, my perfectionism was really tested to the limits this month as for the most part I wasn't 100% happy with everything I was putting out. Not that my content was rubbish, but I've got this little voice inside of my head that tells me things aren't good enough or aren't at the standard I want them to be. This voice is the biggest bullshitter ever, but it's still in the back of my mind, so for me to do a months worth of content just for the sake of content was a massive shift in mindset for me. I was creating to be creative, and to be quite honest, there's no such thing as perfect anyways - if I always strove for perfection in every single blog post then I probably wouldn't post much at all (hence the lack of posts pre-beda). It's helped me realise my potential if I just put myself out there and go for it. Get a post together, make it work, make it happen - you can only get better with practice, but you need to just start!

One massive thing in particular that I have discovered is a motivation and drive within myself. For the past few months, I've been on a massive downer and my anxiety was at an all-time high, this affected my motivation so much. Having this project to focus on gave me a purpose to get up in the morning, a purpose to get up early to smash out a blog post for the evening because I knew I wouldn't have time otherwise. All through the month of April, I was constantly thinking about my blog whether that be new ideas or planning my day around when I could get something written up - it pretty much became my life. 

Although I don't think I'll be writing daily posts any time soon, it has really sparked something within me to carry on - I know I can do this and I get so much enjoyment out of it. I've genuinely loved seeing my blog so full, and it's really established a sense of pride in myself and my work that I haven't felt in a long time - I definitely want that feeling to carry on. I'm proud of myself for sticking to it (all bar one day, I forgive myself) and know that I can do whatever I set my mind to. It's the end of BEDA but it's the start of a new chapter of my blog.