I Am Changing My Life


This post has been in my head for at least a month, and I'm finally getting around to writing it off the back of an amazing weekend at the Younique Global Leadership Summit in Spain. Younique is an online-based network marketing cosmetics company, and the summit was where presenters from all over the world had the chance to get some insight and training on, essentially, being a better you. Previous to this, I had been watching Dottie James' #TryingChange movement on YouTube where she has been documenting how she wants to change her life in a year by putting 100% effort into everything that she does, and this resonated with me so hard too that I literally could not stop thinking about it. 

See generally, that's what I do - I think, I think more than I do. I spent a lot of time thinking about when I would start over after I first viewed Dottie's video, when would be the most ideal time to begin living my dream life, and do you know when the ideal time is? Never! So, let's just start NOW!

I don't try hard enough in anything that I do because I'm afraid of failure, I'm afraid that I'm not  meant to be successful, I'm afraid of what people will think of me. I get distracted extremely easily because of these fears and I can see myself doing it, and you know what? I hate it. I have all these ideas of everything that I wanna do, everything that I wanna achieve, but in my head I don't believe in myself and my abilities - I have this tiny little voice telling me that I can't do it, and that I'll never amount to anything. I let my anxieties control my life and I need to learn how to control them instead.

Completing BEDA in April was a stepping stone for me, and it's a small BIG thing that I can say that I've accomplished on my way to where I wanna be - I committed and stuck to something which is something that I've never really done, so I really want to try my god damned hardest to try a little harder at everything else in my life.

Here are some things I will be doing at 100% capacity:

• Practise meditation
• Practise gratitude
• Reading
• Writing
• Learning
• Keeping my room clean and tidy
• Realising when I'm overthinking
• Be kind and loving
• Limiting the time on my phone
• Keeping my phone away from me when I need to focus (it's currently in a cupboard)
• Realising how great I am
• Sharing positivity on social media
• Share things of value on social media
• Being present when taking a walk

Okay, I'm putting this out there for the world to see *breathe* but I have come to the conclusion over a long period of time that I want to be a personal brand of positivity. Over the past couple of years I have absolutely loved my journey of personal development and mindfulness - even if I haven't always practised it (nobody's positive all the time). I love finding new techniques, new ways of living, and new mindfulness practices to try and to share with friends, and now, with the world. To say I want to be a personal brand of positivity may sound a little bit vague, but right now that's where I see it, and I know for certain that it will grow as time goes on and my vision becomes more clear. 

We'll see where this path takes me, but I definitely want to keep you up to date with how I'm doing and how I'm feeling along the way.

What On My Desk?


Since moving, I've become pretty proud of my little desk/vanity table; I normally overcrowd desks with different products and tools that it just becomes messy, but I've managed to limit the things that are out to the products that I actually use.

I'm a simple kind of girl, I don't have much of a skincare routine as my skin has never needed it. In the past when I have tried to take advantage of skin care it has caused me more trouble than good, so I'm a big advocate for less is more. Then again, I've never had really bad skin so I can't really speak for the other side of the argument. I'm a splash-water-on-my-face kinda girl, sue me!

1. My tools: Here are my collection of makeup brushes, tweezers, nail files and scissors. The brushes in particular right now could probably do with a clean, but we'll get to that when we get to that.

2. Nivea Soft Moisturising Cream: This is one of the only moisturisers that doesn't dry out my skin, and funnily enough, I use it when my skin is feeling especially dry. It's an absolutely huge tub that I've only just started so it will definitely be lasting me a long time.

3. Lush 9-5 Cleansing Lotion: I absolutely hate walking past the lush store because it makes me feel sick, but I've always been mega curious about their products because everyone and their mum is always raving about them. This was one of the first products in their range that I bought (online may I add) and I absolutely love it - it's a cleansing lotion that I personally use to properly take off my makeup. I'll use a makeup wipe to start off with and then I use a cotton pad and a little bit of this lotion to go over my face. It's amazing and quite disgusting what's actually left over after you've supposedly already taken your makeup off. I'll be honest though, I only do this when I can be bothered - #relatable.

4. Tangle Teaser: Two disclaimers to start off with, 1. I was gonna edit out the hair that I forgot to take out of the brush before taking the picture, but then I thought fuck it, this is real life, and nobody's life is picture perfect. 2. Obviously, this is only a cheap version of the official tangle teaser, because your girl only really wants to pay £1 for one, let's be honest. Now, I've found that my hair tends to be a big lump of mess in general unless I reaaaally take the time to brush it. More often than not I just throw it up or let it be messy because I really dig that look. I do think the "tangle teaser" is a nice soft way of brushing your hair though.

5. Woolworths Select Daily Balance Moisturiser: Again, like with the Nivea Soft Moisturising Cream, this is one of the only products that I've loved using on my dry skin - this includes their cleanser as well which is in another cupboard in my room. Unfortunately for me though, I got it in Australia and it's not in production anymore either - my parents went on holiday there at the beginning of the year and found that out whilst trying to get me some more.

6. Sure Anti-Perspirant: I don't have a specific brand that I go for here, I just pick the cheapest at the time of purchase.

7. Asda Dry Shampoo: I've gone through a range of dry shampoos from cheap to expensive and I prefer the cheap ones. Batiste is a popular brand but it's pricier for a big bottle, (Are they bottles? Are they cans? Who can answer one of life's most confusing questions?) and I personally find that it makes my hair look white no matter how I use it. I can get a big bottle of the stuff real cheap in a supermarket own brand or other cheaper brands and I love them.

8. L'Oréal Kids Tangle Tamer: As I said before, my hair can get into a congealed mess (lovely) and a few months back I discovered an old bottle of kids tangle tamer than I used to use and I found basically the same thing when that ran out. My god, it's good, and it smells amazing! Why buy an expensive "adult" de-tangling lotion with outrageous prices when you can get the same thing for cheaper because it happens to say "kids" on the packaging - we've all got hair, so there's no difference, and if anything, it might even be a little safer and good for sensitivity.

9. Peach Perfume: I've actually got no idea why this is here to be fair, I use it every now and then, but I'm not a perfume person - it smells pretty good though.

10. Younique Setting Spray: This. Is. Life. I never used setting spray before this one but it lasts all day, and I use it for at least 3 different purposes: setting my makeup (obv), priming my face and wetting my beauty blender. You don't need much of the product at all and it's a huge bottle so it's gonna last you a long time - I probably use a little too much than is needed though, but that's my problem.

This is pretty much everything I use on an almost daily basis; as you can see I'm pretty low maintenance and can get ready in 5 or 10 minutes if needed. Ain't nobody getting me up 3 hours early just to get ready.

Have you used any of these products? What do you have out on your desk or vanity?

MAY 2018: Goals and Intentions


Thought you got rid of me for a little while, didn't you? Well, it's a brand new month and even though BEDA is over I've got a brand new set of goals and intentions to smash for May, and I plan on sticking to them.

Let's talk about April to start off with: In April I moved away from home; this was something that I just kept putting off and putting off because I was scared of the change. I honestly don't understand (and nobody else did) why this was an issue, I moved away to the other side of the world for two years for goodness sake, but it definitely was an issue that I needed to overcome again. Suddenly one day I decided I just needed to leave, and if I didn't do it now I would be forever in this rut - so I left.

I became a lot more present in April; trying to focus on what I was doing on that day rather than dwelling on the past or thinking forward to the future. I became more blog orientated, more organised and tidy in my life (and my room), I started meditating every day to clear my mind (I'm currently on day 21), and I've got a better idea of how I want to progress. I haven't got everything figured out by a long shot, but I'm getting there.

In May I want to continue what I started in April as well as sharpening my focus on my goals and intentions. I have this habit of overstretching my goals, so I have limited myself to 5 in order to really focus on each and every one of them:

Catch up on my reading goal: I'm trying not to focus on the numbers too much this year, but I know I have been slacking with my reading and I'm challenging myself to read for at least 30 minutes each day.
Post a blog (at least) twice a week: It's not quite every day like in April, but I want to create more quality content on the regular.
Stick to my daily habits: Meditation, reading, writing, gratitude and learning.
Don't check my phone as often: I'm not saying I'm not gonna ever check my phone, I just want to cut down.
Post a YouTube come back video: I've been away from YouTube for so long and I've missed it so much that I need to really make the effort to get back into it.

I feel as though my year only really started happening for me in April, so here's to May, and pushing forward ever nearer to our goals and dreams. What's one goal you've got for yourself this month?

BEDA Wrap Up


It's the end of April, and therefore the end of blogging every day...well...almost every day because I missed yesterday, but you know what? I'm not as bothered as I thought I'd be. If I let missing one day affect my achievement for the whole month then that would just be ridiculous. I've done 29 blog posts in the whole of the month, and coming from someone who would sporadically post whenever I felt like it, that's a big deal. 

Coming up with new content every day is hard I tell you - I applaud all those fantastic bloggers that do it on the regular because it's something that I really couldn't do for a long period of time (a month was enough for me). However, on the flip side, when you do think of new ideas, it can often lead to more new ideas - it's like a cycle of ideas, that once you start you could potentially keep going for a long time. I know that sounds contradictory to what I initially said but let me explain. I've discovered over this past month that I'm very much a mood writer; I will only write what feels good to me at the time despite having a plethora of ideas listed down somewhere. I could have a million and one ideas and not want to write any of them at any given time, so that's where the content creation part became difficult.

I'll tell you something, my perfectionism was really tested to the limits this month as for the most part I wasn't 100% happy with everything I was putting out. Not that my content was rubbish, but I've got this little voice inside of my head that tells me things aren't good enough or aren't at the standard I want them to be. This voice is the biggest bullshitter ever, but it's still in the back of my mind, so for me to do a months worth of content just for the sake of content was a massive shift in mindset for me. I was creating to be creative, and to be quite honest, there's no such thing as perfect anyways - if I always strove for perfection in every single blog post then I probably wouldn't post much at all (hence the lack of posts pre-beda). It's helped me realise my potential if I just put myself out there and go for it. Get a post together, make it work, make it happen - you can only get better with practice, but you need to just start!

One massive thing in particular that I have discovered is a motivation and drive within myself. For the past few months, I've been on a massive downer and my anxiety was at an all-time high, this affected my motivation so much. Having this project to focus on gave me a purpose to get up in the morning, a purpose to get up early to smash out a blog post for the evening because I knew I wouldn't have time otherwise. All through the month of April, I was constantly thinking about my blog whether that be new ideas or planning my day around when I could get something written up - it pretty much became my life. 

Although I don't think I'll be writing daily posts any time soon, it has really sparked something within me to carry on - I know I can do this and I get so much enjoyment out of it. I've genuinely loved seeing my blog so full, and it's really established a sense of pride in myself and my work that I haven't felt in a long time - I definitely want that feeling to carry on. I'm proud of myself for sticking to it (all bar one day, I forgive myself) and know that I can do whatever I set my mind to. It's the end of BEDA but it's the start of a new chapter of my blog.

Playlist Spotlight: Deep Focus


I listen to music almost religiously; all day every day no matter what I'm doing - in the shower, walking to work, tidying my room, in the car, scrolling the internet, playing games, anything! Anything other than working, however; and when I say working, I mean writing my blog, or figuring out my business. 

It's especially when writing my blog that I can't concentrate with music; writing and listening to lyrics (or words) has never worked for me, and I've never been able to fully commit to it without getting distracted. However, a few months back I watched a video on YouTube (I can't for the life of me remember who made it) and they suggested a "Deep Focus" Spotify playlist to work with and it worked WONDERS.

The playlist has rock/pop/alt vibes with lyric-less repetitive sounds - it's almost relaxing. The repetitiveness of the music almost makes you forget that you're actually listening to music, you kind of tune out to it and this is perfect. Ever since I found this playlist it's been a saved favourite, and I'm even writing this blog to it right now. If you have trouble concentrating with music then I'd highly recommend giving this playlist a listen.

Tips On Starting A New Job


I started a new job on Wednesday and it occurred to me that starting a new job can be scarily daunting for some people - don't get me wrong, I was scared shitless (for some reason) before I stepped through the doors officially for the first time, but more often than not, these worries that we have are all in our heads.

I've made a list of a few tips that will get you off to a good start in any job, and probably put you in a good light with your employer too:

Ask lots of questions
Don't be afraid to ask questions and get people to repeat themselves if you're not sure - you are not annoying anyone I can assure you. The more you ask, the more you'll know, and the quicker you'll know it. I'd much rather someone ask me a million questions than go around not knowing what they're doing messing everything up - you don't learn if you don't ask.

Shadow as much as you can
Whenever there's a chance to watch what somebody's doing then I'd take that up - don't wait until you need to do it until you see how it's meant to be done. There's no point winging it when you can see what someones doing first hand. For example, I've been watching my colleagues booking in large parties into the restaurant and finding out what kind of questions they ask, how they book it in, what procedure they use, etc.

Introduce yourself
Don't be a wallflower; introduce yourself to every new person you meet. This is a simple icebreaker that often improves your confidence early on if you're able to do that. I know this may be a really daunting tip for the more introverted types, but I'm a big believer of "fake it till you make it" in the way that if you act confident you will soon become more confident.

Arrive early
For the love of God, don't be late to your first shift! If anything, be 5 or 10 minutes early so you have time to settle in and talk to your manager or senior colleague if necessary.

Be yourself
This is probably the most important thing and the most self-explanatory. The more yourself you are, the more at ease you will be; act as though you've known everyone your entire life (this goes along with the fake it until you make it thing too). I'm not saying tell everyone your deepest darkest secrets straight away, but show your personality off. 

I'm aware that some of these are a lot easier said than done for some people; I used to be the kind of person that would be observant in a new job then come out of my shell when I've got comfortable and got to know everyone a lot better - there's absolutely nothing wrong with this either. These are just my personal tips for starting a new job.

What are your tips?

Listen To Your Body


I've mentioned a couple of time now that my body seems to have just collapsed with exhaustion from the past couple of weeks. This whole move has taken place in approximately two weeks, and that's not a lot of time at all. I've managed to compress a shit ton of stress and worry in a short period of time; work (new and old), my accommodation, credit checks, what to bring, what to leave behind, is this really the best option for me, am I making the right decision? I never really had time to let anything sink in and was basically running on adrenaline a lot of the time, so now I'm really paying for it.  You know what though? It's teaching me a valuable lesson in listening to my body and what it needs.

I had all these plans when I moved to go exploring, meet new people, drive to new areas, go and work in coffee shops, etc, and I wanted to do them all straight away. I'm just too tired to do any of this stuff right now and for the tiniest minute I got upset that I wasn't out doing everything I wanted to from the go. I took some quiet time to myself and realised that there's absolutely no rush to do anything, but I need to take as long as I need to recuperate so I've got the energy to do all of the things - I'm here for the foreseeable future so I've got plenty of time. What's the point of doing everything, being more tired from it, and not appreciating or enjoying the new experiences? I only moved here 3 days ago for goodness sake!

I'm learning how to listen to my body mentally and physically and have been acting accordingly:

‣ I've been doing light stretches to remove the kinks that are causing me aches
‣ I haven't been setting alarms so my body can get as much sleep as it needs
‣ I've been meditating to clear my mind and focus on what's necessary for me
‣ I've been doing things that I love (from home) to make me happier like reading and blogging
‣ I've been drinking plenty of water
‣ I've been plain and simply not doing anything too strenuous to regain my energy

If you force yourself to do something when your mind and body isn't in the right place it'll probably do more harm than good in the long run. In today's day and age everything is fast-paced and needed to be done now, but everyone seems to forget to look after themselves every once in a while and take a break - that doesn't mean you need to take a week off work, but it could mean taking 15 minutes each morning to work on yourself in whatever way you enjoy or deem fit. The number one thing to do though is just really listen to yourself, because only you know what it is that your body needs right now.