Don't judge a book by its cover

18:30

"...the reason it feels like you're the only one with an anxious internal monologue is that yours is the only one you can hear. We don't have access to other people's minds - so we're forced to judge their emotional state by their behaviour."

When I read this in Psychologies Magazine, it honestly blew my mind. I do often look at people and think that they have their life together; they look confident, they seem like they don't care what people think. The key words in that are "look" and "seem" - looking or seeming, and actually how you feel are two completely different things. To others, I may look confident and sure of myself on the outside, but I'm not afraid to admit that on many an occasion I have gone home and cried because someone's tiny comment made my mind go into overdrive.

Social media is also a big cause of this judgement and assumption - we see someone's seemingly "perfect" life on Instagram with their happy smiles, beautiful clothes in wonderful locations. We yearn for a life like that, when in reality, every picture is orchestrated, and most of these people post their highlight reel to give out a positive vibe. Although it's nice to air your worries and thoughts sometimes on social media, you don't want your feed to be constantly filled with negativity, as it will make you feel even worse.

Your friends, influencers and celebrities online may look as though they lead the "ideal" life, but I would bet anything that they also have their insecurities, worries and fears as much as you and I. You just can't judge it because you don't have access to their minds and that's something you will NEVER have...unless sometime in the future we invent some crazy mind reading machine 🤷‍♀️but for now, we don't, haha! But, you know what I mean!

Even when people are telling us information about themselves, we have no idea if they're withholding anything else or if they have any other deeper feelings about any given subject because you do exactly the same with your own thoughts. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment, and take a second to reflect that not everything is as it looks on the outside. Don't judge someone so harshly for having a short temper, for example, when you have no idea what life is like for them at the moment and how they're dealing with it.

We just all need to be a little more kinder to one another and a little bit more sympathetic to the fact that life can be shit sometimes, and that's okay. We can work through it together.

Expect nothing, live in the moment

13:27


It's actually crazy how my lack of inspiration for a blog post is actually turning into a blog post - ironic or what? 

I've literally been sat staring at my laptop screen for the past hour waiting for inspiration to strike. I have so many ideas in my head, but you know when none of them really strike you in the moment to write - yeah, that. So, I've been switching between tabs, reading others peoples blogs, waiting for that one thing to just hit me, and as you can guess, it didn't. 

This was when I started to feel like shit - I started to feel bad about the fact that none of my great ideas were flowing out of me instantaneously as I imagined they would, I started to feel guilty that I was considering closing my laptop for another day. I just felt useless that I wasn't living up to the high standards and expectations that I'd set for myself. 

I recently finished, for the second time, "Unf*ck Yourself" by Gary John Bishop, and coming upon this situation reminded me of his chapter about expectations. When we enter different situations in our life whether it be romantic, business or even just personal, we set our own expectations (consciously or otherwise) of how things will pan out, and here's the kicker, it doesn't always work out the way you think it will. 

The real test comes when your expectations are not met. Are you just going to feel sorry for yourself and give up or are you going to fight through it and persevere?
Life can be like that at times. On some occasions you have to realize that the game has changed (sometimes dramatically so) and you need to pivot. Deal with your reality ~ Gary John Bishop
My expectations were that because I had set my sights on something and had finally made a decision about doing something with my blog and my upcoming business, that I would just be instantly inspired to work, and the ideas would just come flowing. I'm not saying that this won't eventually happen, but I can't stop at the first hurdle because it's not coming as easily as I would have hoped. 

Living in the present moment is what's going to help you here. There's no point in dwelling over what's happened in the past because you can't change that. You will get nothing out of obsessing over what will happen in the future because that's something that's yet to come, and you will never see it because when it does come, it will be your present. You need to learn to take everything one day at a time, don't obsess over what's happening tomorrow, but focus on today and what you will do today to strive towards your long term goals - tomorrow never comes.
When you expect nothing, you're living in the moment. You're not worrying about the future or rejecting the past. You're simply embracing your situation as it comes ~ Gary John Bishop
With this being said, for the rest of the day I'm going to not let myself feel guilty over shutting everything off and just chilling out. I've spent too long trying to force things into fruition that I just end up hating myself for it, so this time I'm going to just take myself away from the situation and come back at another point with fresh eyes. I'm learning to rest and not quit, because I know I'm onto a good thing if I just keep pushing.