I bought a bullet journal a little while ago with the sole intention of seriously starting to get organised. I got everything set up, pretty minimalistic, did a week of to-do lists, and like usual, I just stopped and gave up - not for lack of being unorganised, but because it really isn't for me and this is my second time trying it. In fact, the only thing I like about the bullet journal is the habit tracker, and I can do that elsewhere. ANYWAYS, I started using the journal for a different purpose - journaling - funnily enough.

I've always wanted to write a journal because I absolutely love writing by hand - I started typing one once and didn't like it, but whenever I thought of physically writing it, I just assumed that I would get bored and not continue. I was also afraid that I wouldn't be able to write every day and that I would struggle to find things to talk about, but this hasn't been the case at all and I've been successfully writing every day now for 13 days.

I haven't really given any information about myself so far so here's a quick get to know me survey that I found.

1. Are you named after anyone?

I think I'm named after my Nana on my Dad's side who's name was Kathleen - my real name is Kathryn!

2. When was the last time you cried?

I think it was a month ago over something really stupid, I tend to get emotional after my period. One time I got upset and cried over the fact that I couldn't do my mascara well, haha!

3. Do you have kids?

No.

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

I like to think that I would be, but is that a question you can really answer because everyone likes to be liked.

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Sometimes a bit too much. When I was younger my Mum used to say to me that I'm gonna say the wrong thing to somebody important, and I'm going to regret it - I'm super sarcastic and quick witted, but luckily I've been careful about who I say it to so far. Although, sometimes I do have a tendency to say things without thinking as it's just too easy sometimes.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Probably hair or eyes, although I often notice shoes too which is an odd one.

7. What is your eye colour?

Hazel.

8. Scary movie or happy endings?

I'm gonna say happy endings, but, I enjoy films where the bad guys win for some unknown reason. I think it's because I love anything with an anti-hero.

9. Favourite smells?

Vanilla and coconut are some of my all time favourite smells. They're actually the car freshener scents that I bought the other week funnily enough - they're just so fresh and lovely and oh my god, I wanna smell them right now!

10. What's the furthest you've ever been from home?

Australia - probably the furthest there is.

11. Do you have any special talents?

I'm just me. Blergh, could I get any cheesier? I'm good at seeing the positive in everything, does that count?

12. Where were you born?

Welwyn Garden City in Hertfordshire, England.

13. What are your hobbies?

I enjoy reading, watching rugby, blogging and working on my makeup business (if you can count that).

14. Do you have any pets?

Nope.

15. Do you have any siblings?

Nope, I'm an only child, and no, that doesn't mean that I'm spoiled.

16. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I want to be happy. I enjoy working my makeup business and want that to thrive in the future but I wouldn't be doing it and pursuing it in the first place if it didn't make me happy. I'm the kind of person that would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad.

17. Who was your first best friend?

Robyn. She used to be my neighbour when we were kids and I've known her pretty much all of my life which is amazing if you think about it.

18. How tall are you?

5'1" or 155cm

19. Funniest moment throughout school?

I'm gonna be really shit with this question as this could be a good one for an awesome anecdote, but nothing is really coming to mind at all, unfortunately. I don't like being put under pressure dammit, haha!

20. How many countries have I visited?

When I was at school, I was known as the holiday girl because my parents and I would always have at least 2 holidays a year to really random locations that nobody would ever think of going to. I am so grateful that I was able to do that when I was younger, and then I ended up going travelling around Australia and New Zealand for 2 years in 2014 as well. I wouldn't be able to give you a number though unfortunately but could list a few for you: Vietnam, China, Mexico, Tunisia, Thailand, Cyprus, Greece, to name but a few.

21. What was your favourite/worst subject in high school?

My favourite subjects were anything creative (other than English) like drama, art and graphic design. I've just always been an extremely creative person and definitely not academic in the slightest. I would always do amazingly well at physical coursework and then do worse in the exams because my brain just couldn't retain the information. I am a physical learner rather than a wordy learner in the way that I like to be hands-on rather than read loads of information. My worst subject, however, was probably science as I had absolutely NO interest in it whatsoever, and I don't think, at 26, I've ever had to use it in my life either.

22. What is your favourite drink? Animal? Perfume?

Iced coffee by a country mile. Although, we don't have decent iced coffee in England, I miss the Australian ones, they were addictive. I love koalas after visiting Australia, they're so cute and cuddly, but their looks are deceiving as they can be quite dangerous. I don't really wear perfume at all really though.

23. What would you name your children?

I don't want to think about this for a while, I know I prefer girls names, but obviously, that wouldn't be my choice.

24. What sports do you play/have you played?

Hahahahahahahaha!

25. Who are some of your favourite YouTubers?

I like a lot of YouTubers, but at the moment I've been absolutely loving Lucy Moon, I just find her so relatable and interesting. She talks about anything and everything but is also so keen to grow and learn which I find so refreshing - and as she's growing in popularity you can see her advance but she's still staying true to herself.

26. How many boyfriends have you had?

5

27. Favourite memory from your childhood?

As mentioned before, it probably has to be the holidays that I went on when I was younger. We always had one in the Easter holidays which was a touring holiday and a relaxing holiday in the Summer so we always had the best of both worlds.

28. How would you describe your fashion sense?

I wouldn't really describe it as anything, I like what I like, and I wear what I like. Although, one thing that I do always wear is florals, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm ridiculously girly. When my best friend was organising her wedding she said that she didn't know what kind of bridesmaid dresses to get because we all liked different things, and she said that I liked florals. That was the day that I realised that I do tend to go for flowery prints!

29. What phone do you have?

Rose gold iPhone 6S

30. Tell us one of your bad habits!

I bite the skin around my fingers, and it'll be the death of me because I'm always complaining about how shit my nails are!

Would you do this survey?

I feel as though gratitude is a very mindful thing, it can help ground you when you feel overwhelmed, and help you to see the bigger picture. You should always be grateful for the big and the little things in life, and I just wanted to document things that I'm grateful for, as and when.

So many people put down people for taking selfies all the time - they call them vain, self-obsessed, not even pretty, and any number of other insulting things. Whatever happened to being nice to one another? I believe the online age we currently live in has given people a platform to hide behind to drag people down, and it's not good.

Everyone nowadays thinks they have a right to tell others what they think of them, not in real life, but over social media (which is the worst part). They think they're entitled to tell someone that they looked better without makeup, they shouldn't wear those shorts, or ask why someone takes so many pictures of themselves. The answer is why not? Why shouldn't people wear what they want? Why shouldn't people put as much makeup on as they want? Why should you conform to societies "standards" just to fit in? Everyone is different, everyone is unique, and everyone has their own reasons for doing these things.

Makeup is a big example for me because I own a makeup business, so am constantly posting pictures of myself wearing makeup, before and afters, etc. Due to this, I see a lot of other makeup related photos and videos coming up on my feed where people are, again, giving their opinions. People wear makeup for any number of reasons - for some it gives them confidence, it may cover up scars they're insecure about, or they just bloody well feel like wearing it.

We should be uplifting others instead of tearing them down, as you don't know what place someone is in when you send that unwanted comment; it could be the last straw for them and you would never know. They say that "stick and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me", but I'm calling bullshit on that one because words HURT! The simplest thing can make or break someone's day, so why not make it and uplift them by saying something positive to them instead.

There are so many bigger problems going on in the world right now compared to whether you think someone looks good in makeup or not! So why not take a stand against the shit that's happening in the world right now and be positive to one another. Neither party gains by that negative remark you just made, but it can make you and the receiver feel better about yourselves if you just take the time to be positive and make a difference. It's the little things that count...

What are your thoughts on this?

I work in a pub. Who would have guessed by the title of this post hey? As with working in any hospitality trade, you have to deal with customers. Some are good, some are bad, and it's all part of the territory. I wouldn't change it for the world, but some people do say some things that get right up my nose. I'm always nice and polite to customers, but these are the super sarcastic thoughts that run through my head a lot in response to some of the things customers often say...

"Can I have a wine?"

Do you want to go into any specifics on that like red, white or rosé? Or am I a bartender/psychic now?

Me: "Hey, how're you?" Customer: "Can I have..."

Yeah, that's fine, I'm not a human being, just a server of drinks. Don't be polite and at least say "hello" or anything!

"I want to order food but there are no more tables..."

...and you expect me to do what about it? I can't just magic up some tables out of thin air for you. I'm sorry there's none available, but be serious, what am I supposed to do?

Me: "Would you like the small fish and chips or the main one?" Customer: "I'll have the regular size"

I just told you what sizes we have available...there are no "regular" sizes, they're all regular!

12AM on a Friday Night: "Can I have a coffee?"
No!

Me: "How was your food" Customer: "It was really bad....just kidding, it was great"
So you just made me slightly panic for no reason other than your own amusement, how is that even funny? It's a genuine concern about how your food is just in case you do want to make a complaint.

"Can I have a <insert drink we don't have>?"
Did you not think to look before you ordered? Do you know why you shouldn't assume?

"That's a bit expensive"
I just press the buttons and tell you the price, mate!

Two customers arguing over who's paying
Can ONE of you just please give me some money so I can get on with other stuff that needs to be done!

Have you ever been on the receiving end of any of these?

Paramore's new album "Hard Times" dropped on Spotify this week. I was never a hardcore massive fan before, I mean don't get me wrong, I enjoyed their music, but I never listened to a full album of theirs. This time around I've managed to listen to the whole of their new album and I am in LOVE 😍

I definitely know that it's not like anything they've ever done before; it's a lot more electro-pop, rather than the punk-pop-rock of before. Although it's different, I am completely digging it - it actually reminds me of the Ting Tings light poppy beats. Sometimes you just need a bit of happy pop to get you through the day, and that's where Paramore hits the mark.

Fall Out Boy has made an honourable mention on this playlist due to the fact that it randomly came up on a playlist while I was getting ready, and I just couldn't resist dancing and singing along to the tune. It's been YEARS since I've heard "Sugar, We're Goin Down", and it just brought back so many memories - especially those of singing along to the famously misheard lyrics of the band.

On the whole, I've been a bit lacklustre on the music front this week. This is mainly due to the fact that I've been having "Hard Times" on repeat for quite a while - there's absolutely nothing wrong with that though!

When you think of a "night in" what would you think of? Chilling out on the sofa under a blanket watching netflix with a tub of Ben & Jerry's? Having a relaxing bath-bomb infused bath with candles, prosecco and a facemask? Well these are the types of things I read about all the time, but for me personally, that is definitely not the case.

Hanging Out
This one is real simple. I literally just be. I just relax, let myself chill out and wind down from the day - I don't even need to be doing anything as such, I could just be playing a game on my phone or chatting to my friends, but I have no real taxing tasks to be doing so just don't do much at all.

Chat With My Mum
There's nothing I like more than having a good heart to heart with my Mum. I'm lucky enough to be able to talk to her about anything and everything, and I relish being able to talk to her without any distractions; just me and her on the sofa having a good old chin wag.

Unless I have something specific to do, then those are the things that I generally do as little as that may sound. When you have a night in for yourself, you are doing it for yourself so you can do whatever you like, and what I like is not doing much at all, and that's just fine!

What do you like to do on a night in?

I constantly find myself reading and researching about staying healthy, being organised, and getting into a routine more than I actually work on doing it all. With regards to even working my makeup business, I've read a ridiculous amount of personal development books, that my mind knows exactly what to do, but my body doesn't quite want to reciprocate. There are so many blog posts covering these subjects, what to do, and how to achieve the results you want to achieve - but what happens if your mind is more than willing to do it, but your body doesn't quite follow in the same direction, what are you supposed to do then? There is no reset to factory settings with your body. 

I have this issue whereupon I know what I want, and I want it with so much passion and soul, but I can't quite muster the energy to make it happen. It's got absolutely nothing to do with not wanting it or believing that I can do it; more so the fact that I never seem to have the motivation or the determination to follow things through. I get distracted ridiculously easily - even when writing this blog post, my phone went off, I replied to a text, and then proceeded to play a phone game for the next 20 minutes. 

It frustrates me to no end, and I've absolutely no idea how to get out of this rut. I think I've mentioned this before, but I read that it takes 21 days to form a habit and I really really really (can I put anymore really's in that sentence) need to start forming new ones to actually get things done. I know this is sounding super depressing, but it's something that is truly REAL to me, and it's one of the main reasons why I've been trying to blog every other day. I've actually missed 2 days now, but have managed to catch up, so in actual fact this is the first thing in a long time that I've actually been sticking to. YES! A POSITIVE!

On another good note, I've been making small positive steps in other areas of my life too. I recently asked for a promotion in my current job, and I've just decided that I really wanna kickstart my health regime, so have ordered some healthy bits and bobs and even bought a blender to encourage me. I'm sure I will keep you up to date on that journey, and my stuff should be arriving tomorrow, so a haul of sorts in the near future will probably happen! 

Anyways, I just wanted to write this post to show that not every blogger has the perfect morning or exercise routine etc, and that some of us do actually struggle to get motivated sometimes, as nobody's perfect. I'm interested to hear, do you have struggles with motivation?

I've decided to create a mini segment where I list some songs that I've found or had on repeat the previous week. It definitely won't always be new music that I've found but I do want to use it as an excuse to actually actively start looking for new music.

When I was younger, I always used to be on the constant search for new (to me) bands/artists to add to my iPod. I found so much of my music from "related artist" pages, and now that I've got Spotify it's even easier to find new music.

Recently I've been listening to a lot of house/electro style music - getting in the mood for Summer obviously - and it's really been putting me in such a good mood as I'm dancing around my bedroom. My favourite on this playlist has to be "Heatstroke" though as it's a mixture; it's chill, dance-y, and such a tune all in one 4 minute song. I've no idea whether it's being released in the charts (it does involve Calvin Harrise, Pharrell Williams and Ariana Grande. so probably) but I just know if it is it'll be an absolute BANGER!

♪ Little L - Jamiroquai

Due to one reason or another, I didn't do a blog post as promised yesterday, but I will be making up for it by posting today and tomorrow!

Part of the reason that I want to focus on something this month has been my recent lack of positivity, which to be completely honest, isn't like me at all. I'm not saying that you need to be positive 24/7, but I like to think that the majority of the time I can see the good in every situation. So to get myself back into the mindset, I've compiled a few things which have helped me in the past, and I hope you can get something out of too, to lead a positive life for yourself:

☽ Positive thinking creates positive results
I believe I read somewhere that there was a study on this; you are what you think. If you keep thinking to yourself that you're never going to get that job, then the chances are you won't. The more positive you are with your thoughts, the more that positivity is attracted to you! I know that sounds really new-age-bohemian bullshit, but I've seen it happen both ways.

☽ See the silver lining
Instead of looking at the bad side of a situation you need to openly look for a good side. This one is by far the most difficult thing to be able to do, but once you get the hang of it, it'll come naturally to you. Let's just say that you lose your job; instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself, you should think that maybe it wasn't what you were meant for, maybe life is leading you to something better. As I mentioned before it isn't easy by any means but I do feel it makes for a more positive life.

☽ Learn that you can't please everyone
I'm a people pleaser - I don't like to upset anyone or make them feel annoyed. On the flipside, if I felt someone was annoyed with or disliked me, I would try everything in my power to be extra nice to them to make them change their minds. Life doesn't work this way, sometimes people just don't like you, and you've got to accept that and move on. Obviously, don't turn around and be a complete bitch to them, still treat them with respect, but don't go out of your way to make them like you as this only makes you feel worse about yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, it's just the fact that some people just aren't going to like you for one reason or another, it doesn't make you a bad person it just makes you human. You just need to accept it!

☽ Fake it til you make it
Now this one sounds a little odd I'll admit, but it does work - the brain works in mysterious ways! Not feeling too confident? Pretend that you're confident and walk with your head held high with a beat in your step. Feeling a bit down? Tell yourself that you're gonna have a good day, smile like it's the best day of your life and act happy. Little things like this trick your brain into thinking that you're feeling that way, and it will soon become natural for you to actually feel this way.

I can honestly say that I've used each of these in the past and they have worked wonders for my mindset and positivity. Obviously, these changes don't happen overnight and you need to keep at it for a while, but trust me when I say that they will come! What do you do to stay positive?

♪ Billie Jean - The Civil Wars

Can this year just stop and chill for a bit, please? I just want to know how we're already on the fifth month of 2017 and I honestly feel as though I haven't even started yet. I need to get my butt into gear and pronto!